Reflection: Letting Go of White Knuckling

Have you ever driven up a mountain? If so, you know it’s an amazing experience. You also know that the drive down is so nerve racking.

Last summer, as our youth trip finished a visit to the peak of Pikes Peak, as we turned towards the exit, I saw the ground plummeting down away from me. And there, just beyond the edge, I saw a thunderstorm cloud floating in the air below me. Below me. My knuckles went white around the steering wheel. I held it in a death grip for the next half an hour, until I got to ground level.

Now, I tend to joke about “white knuckling” my way through things that simply had to be done and endured. So I end up thinking about that drive off that mountain with a smirk – “Here I go again, white knuckling my way through something else.” It has to be done, right? No other option, right?

Are you the sort of person to “white knuckle” your way through life? Do you take a strange pride in it too? If so, please hear me on this – it’s time to start to loosen your grip. It’s time to be honest – “White knuckling” our way through life means we’re anxious. Under pressure. Miserable.

That’s not the only option. Paul writes in Colossians 3:15 – “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,” and then again in 2nd Thessalonians 3:16 – “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way.” And a verse that gets sung most Christmas Eve’s at Bethlehem is Jesus’ promise from John 14:27 – “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.”

Look over the last year of your life. Where have you been white knuckling your way through? What feels like it can’t change? What if it could change? What if?

Remember: “Not asking for help” isn’t a competitive sport. They aren’t giving out medals for it –it’s okay to stop trying to earn one! But more seriously, every time we leave our mental health on the backburner of life, it costs us time. It costs us times in our life that we can’t get back. Be willing to ask for help. From friends. From family. Dive into your church community. While you’re at it, be open to calling up a therapist, talk it out with them for 6 weeks to get unstuck. Don’t wait to hit a wall!

God has blessed you with this life. There are moments and glimpses and experiences that God has in store for you. Don’t white knuckle your way through life. Believe and trust that there are ways through. Jesus means that we can always be transformed.

Pr. Brendan Johnston